The Uterus Stands Alone

Last Tuesday I had my appointment to test for glucose and hormone levels to see if I do in fact have an insulin resistant and PCOS. I will have the results back in a week or week and a half since it is such an extensive panel. Waiting sucks. Part of me hopes there is a lab tech rushing to analyze the sample because he/she knows I am impatiently waiting. I know that it is not the case. Having only worked in an environmental lab, I know that labs have standard shifts, five days a week and not the 24-7 data spitting factories I want them to be in this case.

Infertility has always been in the back of my mind after my first gynocologist told me four years ago that the infrequent and almost nonexsistent periods could be a sign of PCOS. Since I was there for a perscription for birth control, it wasn't an issue at the time so I didn't need to get tested. Looking back now, I wish I was tested because knowing could have given me the reality check that I needed to get healthier becaue apparently a medical professional telling you "It would be good for you to lose some weight" doesn't give the same kick.  I did have a glucose test done and everything was fine and I feel like I am the same size now as I was 4 years ago so I guess I felt like everything was fine.

I have been reading up on infertility and have found some other infertile women's blogs. Reading some of the experiences, I can't help but think that I am in this alone because really this comes down to my body and how it wants to function. Yes, I have the support of my husband, Lee, family and friends (which is very much appreciated) that is keeping me motivated to continue to exercise and get healthy. And yes, there is a possiblity that by losing weight, I will be able to conceive but in the end it comes down to what my body wants to do.

I don't even know yet if I am infertile. I guess I feel like I'm softening the blow by expecting negative results and not to get my hopes up. I have read that losing as little as 10 pounds can bring you back into the "fertile zone" so we will see how it goes. Despite the tone of this post and any future infertility posts, I am trying to be positive.

Friends and family are providing great support and it is great knowing that I have such great people in my life. Much thanks to Lee for putting up with me. Thanks for putting up with my groaning if he puts an extra little tablespoon of shredded cheese or asking him the very specific amounts of ingredients that went into a dish. I tend to want things to be done a certain way so I have taken over the cooking so I know exactly what I am putting into my food. Thanks for putting up with the things I am making. I have come to really like bulgur wheat for its high fiber and high protein so to help hold off hunger, and even though it is not Lee's favorite, he eats it with no complaints. Sometimes I chose to exercise over cooking thus causing dinner to be late or completely lacking but he doesn't complain and either patiently waits or starts cooking. Thanks!